The 100th episodes of This Is Us broke my heart into a million pieces while somehow also restoring my faith in true love. How is that possible?
Only Dan Fogelman and the cast could ever.
The ending of KaToby was soul-shattering, but when one love story ends, it opens up the door for another epic romance.
As Toby and Kate’s marriage imploded and they divorced, Kate and Phillip’s romance blossomed into something genuine and unexpected.
The ending of KaToby was inevitable.
As Kate put it, they were meant to find each other in that weight loss group and meant to start share their lives together, but they hit the end of the road. They became toxic to each other and there was too much resentment between them to continue on and pretending that everything was fine.
Though he never admitted it, Toby resented Kate for having to take a crappy job in LA to save his family. He was miserable at work, and when he would come home, he was even more miserable because she was constantly criticizing him for how he interacted with and took care of the kids.
It wasn’t an environment for a relationship or a family could thrive.
I did question why Toby couldn’t simply find another job in LA that made him slightly happier, but I’m also fully aware that the job was never truly the issue, even if it did contribute to the strain on the marriage.
Despite their best efforts to save their marriage, the writing was on the wall.
And once you reach that point, there’s no going back. Kate didn’t seem keen on divorce in the beginning because it obviously meant that her whole world would implode. No one ever gets married thinking that they are going to divorce.
But the dinner where they tried to make time for themselves was the final straw, and Kate knew it just like Kevin said she would.
The scene where Toby basically begged Kate to reconsider the divorce was truly heartbreaking, but staying together for the sake of the kids or because you don’t want to be lonely isn’t a good reason.
They were better off separated. Even before the divorce was finalized, the moment Kate declared that it was over, you could see that it brought her so much relief. The relationship was weighing her down. And there was a different glow and energy to her when she was with Phillip. She was happy and carefree, and you could see it in the way she moved around the world. It’s a new look on Kate, but it’s a damn good one.
And Toby thrived, too. He was able to spend time with his kids without being criticized and scolded the whole time. He could enjoy fatherhood!
Divorce is a painful thing for a family to go through — and it was tough on the audience as well. We’ve really only ever know Kate and Toby as KaToby, so it hit on a personal level.
But the writers handled the end of the marriage with grace, and showcasing Kate and Phillips romance from start to finish softened the blows.
Phillip fit into Kate’s world almost too well, but he came in there with nothing but love and respect for her, her family, and even Toby.
The sweet scene between them where they discussed Phillip being around the kids and then Toby caved and explained the basics of American football to the Brit because it is “huge” in Kate’s family was so genuine.
It was also huge considering Toby basically trashed the whole Jack Pearson aspect of everything while they were together.
Truthfully, none of those comments were justified. Yes, Kate put Jack on a pedestal, but he was using that as an excuse instead of owning up to his flaws and the role he played in the demise of their relationship.
The episode showed us exactly what brought Kate and Phillip together, it gave us his tragic backstory (him and his wife struggled to conceive, and when he refused a fourth round of IVF, she left and got hit by a drunk driver and died instantly), a glimpse into the engagement party, and finally, more shots from their wedding that we’ve only seen bits and pieces of.
The wedding also featured a phone call from Toby, in which he acknowledged that their story wasn’t over despite the break up. It was a huge moment, and I’m so glad that they found a way to co-parent and remain in each other’s lives.
The thing about divorce is that it isn’t a failure. Their relationship was beautiful and it created so many happy memories. Some things come to an end, but that’s no reason to bash the time they did spend together.
And it was a chance to reframe and see where their new relationships with other people and themselves would take them.
The one thing that remained true is that Kate and Toby loved each other. They were no longer in love, but they loved each other as people, which allowed them to remain civil.
While much of the focus was on Kate’s happy ending with Phillip, I kept hoping that Toby would get some sunlight as well considering all he’s been through.
And he did! In a flash-forward scene where an adult Jack plays a concert, both parents are there together with their significant others. Talk about a modern family. Also, it’s fitting that Toby would meet his new love in a coffee shop using his silly humor.
We then saw the furthest flash-forward of both couples cheering on Jack at his concert. Seeing Kate, in her gray hair and all, proves that she is still alive in the flash-forward’s to when Rebecca is on her death bed, and that’s comforting.
All these time jumps allow us to see the full picture of a family’s lifespan and the generations to come. Seeing into the future isn’t something we’re privvy to in the real world, but it opens up so many possibilities for beautiful nuanced and full-circle storytelling. It may be hard to keep up sometimes, but it’s rare that we see a character through their whole entire arc.
There were other moments from the episode that gave us insight into the future.
At the engagement dinner, we saw Madison expecting a baby with Elijah! I’m glad things worked out for them.
The same can’t be said for Kevin, unfortunately, as he’s masking all the pain by dating a slew of non-memorable women.
Kate and Sophie made up, and she’s at the wedding, so I anticipate we will get some kind of scene between her and Kevin.
And Randall is in the running to become a senator, which was already teased previously, but it’s now happening.
So, even when things get pretty bleak, there’s always a bit of sunlight and happiness peeking through.
In the end, the one thing that was abundantly clear is that Kate has been unconditionally loved by a lot of wonderful men in her life. Jack, Kevin, Randall, Toby, Jack Jr., and now, Phillip. And for that, she’s a lucky, lucky woman.
What did you think of the end of KaToby and the beginning of Phillip and Kate? Let us know in the comments below.
And how are you enjoying the final season?