A weekly feature highlighting the best quotes on TV as picked by the Spoiler TV team. We’d love to hear your picks too so please sound off in the comments below.
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The Endgame –
1. Sergey: “This is why we are here, trying to make new American friends.” Owen: “Not interested and if you don’t let me go, you’re gonna face a world of hurt.” Sergey: “Your FBI handlers back at the hotel need a check-in, but not quite yet.” Owen: “It’s not them I’d worry about. You hold me, and my wife comes looking and you don’t want that.” (Dahne)
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The Equalizer
1. Dante: “[…] these hate crimes. People want to pretend they don’t exist so they act like they don’t see it but, when we look away, we excuse it.” (Prpleight)
2. Mel: “They are like conspiracy theory influencers, scapegoating Chinese Americans for everything from disease to the economy.” Robyn: “Egged on by some of our very own leaders.” Ray: “How many of my people have suffered because politicians needed someone to blame?” Mel: “And how many have won because these morons can’t tell the difference?”
3. Mel, about the rise in Asian hate: “See, this is why I do not let my grandmother leave her apartment without me.” Harry: “It’s true. She’s like an octogenarian Rapunzel.”
4. Mel, talking about a hate incident with her mom: “She did nothing. She didn’t react, and in that moment, I realized she had to do that to survive, to protect us because we were alone. I mean we were in a room full of people, but nobody did anything. Nobody stood up for us. Nobody helped her. We were alone, and I decided right there, I’m never gonna be like those people in the supermarket. I’m never gonna be the one who doesn’t say something.” (Dahne)
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Ghosts –
1. Alberta [after hearing they were losing their rooms]: “Well now those waffles smell like deceptions…and vanilla. Nice touch.”
2. Alberta [when Hetty doesn’t realize Isaac is gay]: “The Victorian Age had themselves some blindspots.” (Dahne)
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NCIS: Hawai’i –
1. Jesse: “You know how valuable you are, right?” Jane: “It’s just a phone number.” Jesse: “No, it’s not just that. You make everyone around you better so please, eat the sandwich. I don’t want you getting hangry in the middle of something like this.” Jane: “I don’t know how I’m going to get over what happened.” Jesse: “Well, you move forward. That’s all anyone can do and…you don’t have to do it alone.”
2. Jane: “You know, Jesse was the first person to welcome me when I was assigned to Pearl. He’d been here a few months and he made me feel like I was a part of the team before I really was one. He was there when things went bad with Daniel and when I was bumped to SAC. He’s always had my back. I really need to have his.” Whistler: “You know, if someone I cared about were in trouble, I’d want you to be the one looking.”
3. Adrian: “Your dad teach you the breath thing?” Gracie: “When I was little, I had these night terrors and I would wake up screaming in bed My dad would come in, sit beside me, and teach me how to breathe like I was learning to tie a knot. He never seemed worried or scared. He was calm. We’d just breathe. I asked him one night how come he never got scared like me. Was it because he’s a grownup or cause he has a badge and a gun? He said, ‘Gracie, I get scared all the time. No badge or gun can stop it. Breathing always does the trick.’” Adrian: “You shouldn’t have to take care of me, especially with what happened with your dad.” Gracie: “My dad’s fine.” Adrian: “How can you know that?” Gracie: “I just do. They sent 2 guys after him in a small boat. They’re worried. And you know what, Adrian? They should be.”
4. Jane: “We’re coming for you.” Ernie: “Don’t. There’s no telling where his traps are.
He’s gone full-on Psycho Home Alone.”
5. Jesse: “Stay out here.” Ernie: “Usually I’d say yes, but I think you’re safer if I’m with you, which you should not take as anything other than a sign of professional respect.” Jesse: “Got it.”
6. Gracie: “Dad, thank God you’re okay. You saved me.” Jesse: “You saved me right back.” Gracie: “How’d you know they’d be here?” Jesse: “A dad knows everything.” (Dahne)
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NCIS: Los Angeles –
1. Admiral: “What in the Sam Hill is Japanese Selvedge?” Deeks: “We call them jeans.” Kensi: “Oh, no, actually it is much more of a subculture. We take great pride in our denim, especially the process of breaking them in.” Deeks: “We call it wearing them.” Admiral: “And washing them.” Kensi: “Oh no, never wash them.” Deeks: “What?” Fatima: “Gross.” Deeks: “So gross.” Kensi: “No, freezer is so much better and it doesn’t ruin the fade.” Admiral: “I hate Los Angeles.”
2. Deeks: “If I sell the bar, it means you got to find a new…” Callen: “..a new place to live. No, I get it.” Deeks: “It’s just, it’s a lot and you don’t seem very phased by that.” Callen: “I’ve had a little bit of practice at this.” Deeks: “Right. Just out of curiosity, when’s the last time you lived in a place this long.” Callen: “Never. In fact, I actually don’t know how I made it work.” Deeks: “So why did you do it? Why did you stay?” Callen: “I thought you could use the money. I know things have been tight around here lately and I figured at some point, you and Kens would want to buy a house and start a family.” Deeks laughs to himself: “Thank you.” Callen: “Yeah, of course. You would have…you would have done the same thing for me.” Deeks: “In a heartbeat. You know…uh, the house we bought is a two bedroom if you want…” Callen: “Not a chance.”
3. Sam: “Looks like our man was inked up. Tattoo tracing paper.” Callen: “He saved them. That’s a little weird, right?” Sam: “Well, some people hold on to it if their tattoo is meaningful. It’s like a keepsake.” Callen: “Isn’t the tattoo the keepsake?” (Dahne)
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Resident Alien –
1. Sahar: “Divorce is against my religion unless it’s initiated by the man which is why I’m never getting married.” (Prpleight)
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This is Us –
1. Randall: “It’s gonna be a lovely, drama-free Thanksgiving.” Beth: “Baby, I love your heart, but the Pearson family epitaph is going to read, ‘Lovely people. Cried a lot. Thanksgivings were traumatic as hell.'” (
Pearson’s” are on their way to The Cabin for a fun-filled family
Thanksgiving. Randall’s optimism almost makes me hurt. – KathM)
2. Beth Pearson: “The Pearson epitaph will read : lovely people, cried a lot, dramatic as hell Thanksgivings.” (Elvis)
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Angel – 1 x 12 – Expecting
to dinner tonight.” [Wesley and Angel exchange a look.] Angel: “Ahh…tonight?” Cordelia: “Mmm hmm.” Wesley: “Best to get back on her horse, I suppose, if he’s…” Cordelia: “He’s so sweet! He says all I have to do is let him impregnate me with his demon master’s seed and I’ve
got the part!” [she smiles wryly] (Lindsey)
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Buffy – 4 x 14 – Goodbye, Iowa
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The Librarians –
1. Ezekiel Jones: Movies are just books with better pictures and less of those words and stuff. (Prpleight)