Up till this episode of The Masked Singer, the toughest factor to just accept about this program has been Nick Cannon’s outfits. On a number of events, I’ve needed to wade via the mishigas of the PPO system with a view to make emergency optometrist visits, after Eminem’s nemesis shot fancy shoe spikes and sequins shards into my eyeballs. I’ve endured him wanting like a Forever 21 Phantom of the Opera and, as Robin Thicke as soon as put it, a “Versace ninja” as a result of his unimpeachable glamour confirmed me how one can transfer via the world with extra confidence and how one can blind my enemies by carrying extra shiny gildings.
However this week, The Masked Singer went too far, man. Not solely did the judges once more fail to acknowledge the voice of one of many world’s most beloved and recognizable voices, however in addition they despatched her residence. To be honest, Miss Monster sounded at factors like she was gurgling bourbon and marbles on the similar time, however everybody’s who’s been on this factor stated it is actually onerous, and this tune wasn’t actually suited to her. Nonetheless, the truth that Miss Monster bought defeated earlier than White Tiger or Kangaroo — and she’s the THIRD legend to be disrespected after Gladys Knight and Patti LaBelle — hurts my coronary heart in a manner Nick’s jackets by no means will, and I’ll all the time need justice. Learn on for those who wanna know what occurred however brace your self, you too might be outraged.
After collaborating in a bunch rendition of Kiss’ “Rock and Roll All Nite,” Turtle kicked off the clue portion with some bizarre new sport they’re doing the place highschool lecturers give clues? This is senseless however then, we’re watching a turtle sing so [shrug emoji]. Singing “There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Again” by Shawn Mendes, Turtle owned this one danced effectively too, leaving little question he is a professional performer.
Week three clues: Turtle was chilling on the finish of a soccer discipline. His “trainer” stated he all the time got here in singing, was essentially the most pushed pupil she ever had, and we noticed a map of Korea. We noticed what regarded like a bat embalmed in resin. He advised Nicole Scherzinger they spent a morning collectively, which might be one thing bow chicka bow wow, or a some child’s christening. We could by no means know.
Week 2 clues: He dropped a tray of meals and pulled the hearth alarm within the cafeteria, saying he wished to insurgent towards expectations. He was writing “Do not Ever Rave at Faculty” on a chalkboard and stated he’ll sing no matter he needs earlier than grabbing his inflatable guitar. He stated he was most probably to hunt for booty… like a pirate?
Week 1 clues: We noticed him on a observe, competing towards guys carrying bunny ears. He was holding a surfboard and stated he is all the time taken it “step-by-step.” Then, we noticed him at a grill, making burgers. He stated he needs to make an enormous splash.
The Guesses: Jenny McCarthy stated Nick Lachey. Visitor decide Leah Remini stated Jaden Smith, and Nicole guessed nation crooner Hunter Hayes.
The second she opened her mouth to sing “You Do not Personal Me” by Lesley Gore, that shrill shriek and husky backside can solely belong to Yvette Marie Stevens, also called the one and solely Chaka Khan. The tune wasn’t actually ideally suited to her, however Chaka Khan may sing the elements on a jug of Metamucil and also you higher prefer it. It is Chaka Khan!
Week three clues: She opened her package deal along with her “hairstylist” saying she’s his religious mother; we noticed a clothesline holding a slice of pizza, a pair of white socks and a black and white teddy bear — all hints about Chicago. We additionally noticed a swath of camouflage cloth. She’s identified for her hair. She stated she and Robin had a rendezvous in Vegas as soon as.
Week 2 clues: There was a nod to Titanic, with Miss Monster drawing Season 1 Monster in repose, like in an artwork class. We noticed a queen chess piece. She stated she’s able to something and full of affection. She stated she’d be most probably to be within the presence of a queen when requested what her superlative can be, and that is senseless, however no matter. The clues actually are more durable this season!
Week 1 clues: She stated she began off shy and that it did not take lengthy for her to be misunderstood. We noticed her utilizing hairspray and lipstick, and we noticed her at a locker bearing the quantity 10.
The guesses: Leah performed herself with saying Mary Wilson of The Supremes. Jenny made herself look insane by saying Queen Latifah, and Nicole and Robin stated Gloria Gaynor. On the final minute, Nicole and Robin lastly thought-about it might be Chaka, nevertheless it was too late – they already disrespected this vocal genius.
Kangaroo sang “Diamonds” by Rihanna. She’s no profession crooner, however she did OK.
Week three clues: Kangaroo’s “brother,” who wore a plant on his head (what is occurring?!) stated Kangaroo was all the time a drama queen. We noticed a mannequin airplane. Tragedy hit their household. We noticed an angel — making it sound like she’s a model-actor-influencer sort. She advised Leah they’ve sat on the similar desk, presumably on a chat present?
Week 2 clues: She stated it is scary to be within the highlight once more. We noticed a bunch of magnificence merchandise, together with nail polish, and he or she performed basketball towards some dudes all sporting quantity 23. She stated she had a bit one. She stated she was most probably to be on an inventory with Seal and Mike Tyson.
Week 1 clues: She stated she’s a survivor, that she misplaced somebody not too long ago and needed to bounce again. We noticed her in a desert-type atmosphere with an indication that learn “Outback.” She’s been within the highlight for all of the improper causes. We noticed a gramophone.
The guesses: Ken Jeong stated Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Nicole stated Lindsay Lohan, however it will possibly’t be as a result of her voice would not sound like Marlboro reds. Jenny stated Jordin Sparks.
The White Tiger
He “sang” Queen’s “We Will Rock You” to the very best of his capability, however man, anyone examine on the ghost of Freddy Mercury to ensure he isn’t about to spook all these folks for allowing that atrocity. As Nicole stated, he simply goes for “any observe.”
Week three clues: He stated he may all the time work a crowd. His faculty roommate stated they used to show up in class, and confirmed a coin (like the type tossed in a sports activities match.) He stated him and White Tiger used to do a Magic Mike-type routine, and he stated “odor what I am cooking?” like The Rock used to. There was a close-up on the telephone off the hook.
Week 2 clues: He was in a library, once more. We noticed a poster of a cow on skis. He turned on a increase field and stated dancing helps him heal his physique. He opened what resembled a piñata, and feathers and confetti got here out. He stated he actually went to the mat for a buddy.
Week 1 clues: He is tall! His clue package deal confirmed pads being positioned on his physique, like a soccer participant, and he stated he is chased perfection his entire life. We noticed a trophy for clam-chucking. An indication learn Masked Singer tryouts 5/three male; one other had presidents on it and stated “4 rating and 7 years in the past.” The entire package deal befell inside a highschool, and we noticed Tiger within the library.
The guesses: Jen thinks it is Rob Gronkowski. Ken stated Fabio, and Nicole stated Joe Manganiello.
Ultimately, Miss Monster needed to pop off her head, and it was none apart from….Chaka Khan underneath there. The cruelest a part of that is that this 10-time Grammy winner and pressure behind “Ain’t Nobody” has to observe White Tiger transfer on into this competitors. It is not proper. Chaka, “I Feel For You.” I actually do. What I have to know is, what number of extra treasured vocalists is The Masked Singer intending on humiliating like this? Is Diana Ross of their sights? Is Bonnie Raitt secure? Will Celine Dion be outsung by a poop emoji? It has to cease, and now.
The Masked Singer airs Wednesdays 8/7c on Fox.