The Bachelorette couple Charity Lawson and Dotun Olubeko have revealed the “hardest” and “saddest” part of navigating their relationship after the show.
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Charity rejectedJoey Graziadei in second place and selected Dotun as her winner at the end of The Bachelorette’s twentieth season, which aired August 21 on ABC.
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Dotun proposed marriage during the finale, and now he and Charity are happily engaged and claim to be growing deeper in love every day.
But navigating a romance on and off television hasn’t been easy, according to the lovebirds.
“So we do have a boundary in place of certain things we’re avoiding, not in terms of our usage of social media — because obviously it’s a part of our lives and we, to a certain degree, kind of have to — but he’s very aware of when he notices a shift in my moods and vice versa,” Charity explained during a joint interview with Dotun on the September 7 episode of the “Off the Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe” podcast.
“We can be like, ‘Alright, maybe we need to take a step back from it.’ And so, we’ve definitely discussed that, because if anything, we’ve talked about how that’s the hardest part of all of this, is the external/outside noise.”
Dotun acknowledged how Bachelor Nation is a passionate bunch with a mix of huge supporters and haters.
When Kaitlyn Bristowe asked Dotun what has shocked him most through this whole The Bachelorette journey, Charity interjected and said the fans are “spicy.”
“I got a little taste [during the Barbie group date]. I like to learn and understand the realm of how things go,” Dotun said.
“But we’ve been lucky that there’s been so much support. Even though I’m on social media and I’m interested in it, I kind of have the resolve to know what’s bullsh-t and what’s not.”
The Bachelorette winner pointed out how love and hate “all come from the same place.”
“You just have to take it all and be like, ‘Whatever, this is what matters.’ We’ve been lucky there’s been so much support and it’s been overwhelmingly positive,” Dotun noted.
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Dotun shared with Kaitlyn how “it’s been really easy” for him to focus on the positivity and support.
“There hasn’t been much negative,” he said.
But Dotun — who, with Charity, is the first monoracial couple to successfully emerge from The Bachelor franchise — went on to drop a bombshell.
“But I will say that one thing that has been surprising is that obviously we have this Black love, and so you would think that African Americans and Black people would be for us, but what I’ve found out is that a lot of the hate comes from within,” Dotun revealed.
He elaborated, “It’s actually so crazy, and that’s been the saddest part of all this. You see these African American women saying, ‘She should’ve picked Joey!’ And I’m like, ‘This is the craziest thing.'”
Dotun said while he “obviously” anticipated there being some haters, he never thought the majority of them would be Black The Bachelorette viewers.
“To have them come from your own and be your own, that’s been so shocking and such an eye opener,” Dotun said.
Dotun pointed out how it’s been “an interesting experience” to see “how racism works,” and he joked about how these trolls need to check themselves and “go back to school.”
Kaitlyn asked her guilty listeners “to do better,” and Dotun added how it’s just a “weird” outcome he had never expected.
Charity, however, insisted she and Dotun are comfortable in their own skin and very genuine, both with each other and how they present themselves to the world.
“I do not feel pressure at all to perform or put on,” Charity shared on the podcast.
“How I had been during the show and how I am outside of it, as we are navigating life, you’re going to get Charity Lawson 100 percent of the time, whether that’s the good Charity or the bad Charity — so be it!”
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And Dotun added with a laugh, “There’s no f-cking way I am ever going to let some stupid person [hurt me]. Why would I listen to that? I would never do that.”
Dotun said he and Charity are just “living life,” knowing that some people “are going to talk.”
“That just comes with the territory,” he reasoned. “I think we’re both well aware of that. We discuss it openly and often, and we continue to communicate about it. So it’s just funny to me. I’m like, ‘Okay!'”
Charity, who is originally from Georgia, is going to compete on Dancing with the Stars’ 32nd season this fall, and then she and Dotun plan to either continue living in California or make a move to New York together to start fresh.
Charity recently told BachelorNation.com that she and her fiance “don’t want a super long engagement” and can see themselves planning a 2024 wedding, or early 2025 at the latest.
And the couple would like to have two weddings in two different countries!
“We are hopeful for a big Nigerian wedding,” Charity revealed, which would honor Dotun’s native country and his family’s proud heritage.
“My mother-in-law says she wants to whisk us away! So we’re hanging onto that,” Charity said.
“And then [we’d have] probably a more intimate, smaller one. Either way, we’re both excited for those next steps. But we’re just enjoying this moment.”
Before Joey stars on The Bachelor in early 2024, ABC is premiering Bachelor in Paradise’s ninth season as well as The Golden Bachelor starring Gerry Turner on Thursday, September 28 beginning at 8PM ET/PT.
RELATED LINK: ‘THE BACHELOR’ FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
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About The Author:
Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
Elizabeth Kwiatkowski is Associate Editor of Reality TV World and has been covering the reality TV genre for more than a decade.