Warning: This submit incorporates spoilers for all eight episodes of Netflix’s Too Scorching to Deal with.
Let me state this upfront: I’m an authorized courting present junkie. I watch The Bachelor — and The Bachelorette. I loved Love Is Blind. I even watch trashier fare like Temptation Island. (Talking of which: The place is Season 3, USA?) So after I first heard about Netflix’s Too Hot to Handle and its evil-genius idea — sizzling singles are whisked away to a tropical locale, however they will’t have any sexual contact with one another or they’ll lose prize cash — I assumed it’d be proper up my alley. Hey, who couldn’t use a little bit brainless leisure proper now?
However now that I’ve watched all eight episodes, I’m left feeling similar to the present’s pent-up contestants: a bit unhappy. Too Scorching has a killer premise, to make sure, however the present managed to fumble it away with quite a lot of ill-advised manufacturing selections. The consequence is just not practically as enjoyable because it ought to’ve been: a crushingly disappointing missed alternative. (I say this with all due respect to my esteemed colleague Andy Swift, who shares my love of horrible actuality TV and who gave Too Scorching a positive review. We’ll at all times have Vanderpump Guidelines.)
For instance how Too Scorching to Deal with left me chilly, listed below are 4 major the explanation why the courting experiment simply didn’t work for me:
1. The prize cash was too low.
This was a significant misstep proper out of the gate: This present is asking 10 horny singles to maintain their palms off of one another… and solely providing them a mixed prize of $100,000? Even when they had been absolute angels, with no cash taken away, they’d solely stroll away with 10 grand every, or about half that after taxes. Heck, the tropical trip they’re on is value greater than that. To essentially up the stakes, Netflix ought to’ve put up no less than half one million, so the gamers would begin seeing greenback indicators and activate one another when the violations begin piling up. With the prize so low, the contestants simply appeared to shrug off one another’s indiscretions, didn’t they? (Nicely, apart from Kelz, aka “The Accountant.”)
2. The foundations had been arbitrary and complicated.
Sure, Too Scorching to Deal with‘s preliminary idea is a actuality TV masterstroke, however then they went and botched the execution by by no means establishing the bottom guidelines. Would the contestants all be splitting the prize cash, or would there be one winner? How a lot money did every violation value? The contestants didn’t know, and neither did we. The mischievous pair of Francesca and Haley tried to fire up hassle by kissing and never telling anybody… however then the all-seeing digital tattletale Lana simply ratted them out anyway! (Protecting all violators nameless would’ve been an fascinating wrinkle, really, however alas.) Contestants arrived and left with none rhyme or purpose. By the anticlimactic finale, which noticed every remaining contestant named a “winner” and awarded an equal cut up of 75 grand, we form of wished Lana would’ve been switched off from the beginning so the contestants may simply bounce off one another with out limitations. (Extra on that in a sec.)
3. The contestants had been annoying… even for courting present contestants.
In actuality TV, casting is the whole lot, and Too Scorching to Deal with stumbled badly right here, assembling one of many least likeable teams of contestants I’ve seen in years. You understand how on a season of The Bachelor, one contestant is perhaps labeled “the dumb one”? Nicely, on Too Scorching to Deal with, they had been all “the dumb one.” Plus, some had been aggressively bitchy (Haley), some had been aggressively unappealing (Bryce), and a few had been aggressively self-involved. (Hello, Francesca!) I didn’t even just like the narrator, whose pseudo-snarky feedback had been a far cry from the wit and knowledge of Love Island UK‘s Iain Sterling. Once you don’t like every of the contestants, it’s laborious to root for them to seek out romance or to win cash — not that any of them went house with a lot of both. Which leads me to…
4. The romances and demonstrations of “development” had been contrived.
Look, I’m keen to droop my disbelief a looooot with regards to actuality TV romances — once more, I watch The Bachelor — however even I didn’t get suckered in by Francesca and Harry supposedly falling in “love.” (I really didn’t consider a single phrase that got here out of Francesca’s plumped lips, to be honest.) Rhonda and Sharron’s romance was barely any extra believable, largely as a result of Sharron’s “development” occurred at far too fast a tempo. So this present tells us these are all simply senseless intercourse machines… after which tries to inform us they’ve all magically advanced in only some weeks, after a couple of dumb self-realization workshops? Nah, not shopping for it. And nobody else even tried to feign an precise connection. What was the purpose of all this self-denial, if no sustainable relationships got here out of it?
The excellent news is: There’s already a TV present rather a lot like Too Scorching to Deal with, however with none of the Lana nonsense. It’s referred to as Love Island UK, it’s a frothy summer season delight, and there are six full seasons obtainable to stream proper now on Hulu, in case you had been questioning. (Simply activate the subtitles so you may catch all of the uniquely British slang.) Too Scorching to Deal with blatantly ripped off its format, right down to the uncomfortably shut sleeping preparations, however Love Island has a goofy attraction that Too Scorching failed to copy. (And once they spring random rule adjustments on the contestants, it really makes the present higher!) So in the event you’re like me and also you by no means warmed to Too Scorching to Deal with, no less than you understand there’s one other island stuffed with horny singles on the market ready to remedy your quarantine blues.
Binged all of Too Scorching to Deal with already? Grade the season in our ballot, and drop your ideas in a remark beneath.