Tony, it’s a hostage situation. Can the grown man you’ve kidnapped please have the last beer instead of you pouring it down the drain? You don’t give a potentially dying man a glass of milk. Puhlease.
We’ve already attacked American Hostage from the serious side. Our premiere review and interviews go to the heart of it.
Now, we’re going to start treating this story (and the happy ending that came with it) with irreverence suitable for the occasion. Pop open a PBR and let’s get busy.
Because yes, this was a real hostage situation, and yes, it got terrifying now and again, but when you look back on it, you get to see things differently.
It’s pretty comical. Tony was a rather hospitable kidnapper. And as a hostage? Dick didn’t have it too bad, and almost warmed up to his captor.
Not in the way Patty Hearst warmed up to hers. He’s not going to grab another shotgun so he and Tony can turn the tables on the entire Hall family and the city of Indianapolis, but overall?
This story is so bizarre and its foretold ending so, well, let’s call it pleasant, that we can have a little fun with it.
At one point, I realized it plays rather like a creature feature. This is going to sound crazy, but hear me out.
One of my favorite movies of all time is Lake Placid. Yes, the creature feature starring Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, Oliver Platt, and Brendan Gleeson, where they fight a giant crocodile terrorizing a lake.
At certain points while watching American Hostage, I’m seeing that movie. As Fred, Cormac, and Chief Gallagher gathered to discuss things, it hit me. This situation is so insane it reads like a horror-comedy.
In this story, Dick Hall is the lake, Tony is the crocodile, Fred is Bill Pullman, Cormac is Bridget Fonda, the station manager is a great stand-in for Oliver Platt, and the foul-mouthed, wisecracking police chief is … the foul-mouthed, wisecracking sheriff played by Brendan Gleeson.
They wear the same skins, more or less, and now I can’t stop seeing American Hostage through the lens of one of my favorite movies.
Like the lake, Dick became the subject of something awful, unable to participate in its conclusion. He’s at the center of it, but he has no agency. All the action takes place around him.
Tony being the crocodile is easy to understand. He’s wreaking havoc, but you’re kind of cheering him on. We may not condone what he’s doing, but we understand the motivation. Even in the movie, while the croc is doing horrible things, he has benefactors. People want to protect and save him.
In Lake Placid, a local game warden played by Bill Pullman held it all together, acting as the mediator between Bridget Fonda (a serious paleontologist), Oliver Platt (a ribald croc hunter with his own agenda), the town, and law enforcement, while the sheriff grumbles and makes us laugh.
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On American Hostage, Fred is a go-between not only for Tony and the public, but also to keep the waters calm between the Chief and the FBI profiler, while making sure his station manager is happy with the coverage.
Dick is ostensibly the center of the crisis, but everybody else is running around him trying to manage the dangerous creature, each other, and their own competing priorities.
Is that weird? Sure. But this story seems surreal. And it is. While a man’s life is on the line, his kidnapper is cozying up to him, chatting about their favorite Elvis movies and playing cards.
The FBI profiler, representing the beginning of that branch of the agency, is calling in Fred’s wife to play a role in something she has no business being involved in.
Through marriage and a shared church, Barbara is inserted into the melee. And Ibby, Dick’s wife, almost seems sedated, shes’s so calm. Does she even love her husband? Does he love her?
Ibby seems almost dissociated from the situation, and when Dick calls, he can’t tell her he loves her. They share a moment of near-total silence, but you can still feel the emotion radiating from each of them.
Then Tony inserts himself, shocked that Dick won’t tell Ibby he loves her. Tony, who has created this awful situation out of the bad one he found himself in with his loan, is suddenly playing matchmaker between his hostage and his wife.
That’s what makes American Hostage work, though. Tony is not stupid. He’s compassionate. He has an eye for what turns heads.
I had to laugh when Dick asked him about his arm because he had noticed Tony favoring it in some of their previous meetings, only for Tony to chuckle and admit he did it for effect.
And then he chuckled, pleased that Dick had fallen for his ruse. Who was this guy, and why were the Halls so sure he couldn’t make something of his land? With the right support, Tony Kiritsis could have succeeded. Kind of like a lounge singer that always packs the house.
Over at the Hall residence, poor Barbara was so uncomfortable. Hell, everyone on this show is uncomfortable, and it only gets worse during American Hostage Season 1 Episode 3.
If this story seemed surreal at the start, the reality of what happened was even more so. Tony wanted one thing: for M.L. Hall to apologize himself for what they did to Tony. Tony didn’t even ask for an explanation. He just wanted the words to come out of M.L.’s mouth.
Instead, “low man on the totem pole” Cliff spoke on his father’s behalf, riling Tony up more than you’d imagine any father would allow when his son was being held hostage.
And it’s not like they can assume it’s a ruse. Tony had already paraded Dick through the streets of Indianapolis with a shotgun tied to his neck at this point. If M.L. didn’t believe his son was in danger, he was a moron.
For those on the outside, it isn’t a question of if Tony kills Dick. It should feel like a question of when. When will Tony kill Dick?
The Hall family’s lack of urgency says a lot about how they treat their clients. If they can’t help each other, I sure wouldn’t trust them with my money.
Chief Gallagher was livid when a reporter suggested a Law Enforcement breach was imminent at Tony’s home. It threatened the only tangible bridge they’d built with Tony.
All of this escalated so far beyond the pale that the story Ginny had earned was lost, and the bridge was threatened with that maneuver.
Corman the Profiler stepped in and more or less demanded that her interview with Tony’s sister not be aired. He saw the results of one reporter’s actions when Tony exploded, and he decided it was not worth the risk.
Ginny was stung by the change of plans, but she’s not wrong. We don’t allow government agents to dictate what we air. Until, I guess, we do.
Because news director Fred is so far into this story that he can’t separate himself from it anymore. He can’t be objective because he’s a part of it. Rightly so, he feels as though Dick’s life depends on him.
He’s already responsible for almost the whole relationship between Tony and the public, whether they’re law enforcement or the media. Now his wife is also involved.
Imagine the stories the family told over the holidays as the years went by. I’d like to think the tales got taller with time, more exaggerated and possibly humorous.
But the truth is that the story was already about as loud as it could get and pretty damn funny when you pull Dick out of it. And yes, I do realize what I just typed.
So what’s next?
Well, a quick Google tour will tell you what’s to come. But watching these stars recreate it is the fun of it. So, let’s just lay low and watch.
It’s your turn!
Drop a comment below and let me know what you think about American Hostage so far.
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