Thanks to The Vampire Lestat, my Spotify Wrapped this year is going to look confusing as hell to the average person.
Part of Interview with the Vampire’s revamp for The Vampire Lestat included introducing “Rockstar Lestat,” which has given us the gift of in-universe original songs.
On the show, The Vampire Lestat is a rock band led by frontman Lestat de Lioncourt, masquerading as a vampire in plain sight.
On the screen, drummer Tough Cookie, bassist Salamander, and guitarists Larry and Alex play vital roles in the band’s music.
But behind the scenes, Daniel Hart’s musical genius and Sam Reid’s unbelievable vocals have made this larger-than-life act a reality.
With each new weekly episode of The Vampire Lestat, a new EP featuring songs from the episode has been released. And it’s safe to say, I’ve been streaming the songs on repeat.
After much deliberation, here’s my definitive ranking of every song featured on The Vampire Lestat so far!
19. Black Licorice
Black Licorice is… an interesting song.
The lyrics poke fun at the younger generation’s obsession with “memes” and “TikTok dances,” but otherwise, the song is a bit confusing.
After all, TC even asks if “eating black licorice” is a euphemism for sucking on something a little more salacious.
The song includes a lot of repetition. I have a hard time listening to it more than once or twice in a row when the last minute is just Lestat singing the lyrics, “I wanna stay in bed, eating black licorice!”
I’m all for experimenting with instruments in the rock genre, but the violins in this song were a touch too discordant and distracting for me.
However, I really love the decision to incorporate Lestat’s violin skills into his performances and music.
A few of the songs later on do a much better job at incorporating the vampire’s abilities across instruments.
But out of all of The Vampire Lestat Season 1 songs, Black Licorice gets a hard pass from me.
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18. Le Petit Coup
To its credit, Le Petit Coup is labeled as a demo, so the rough cut is specified upfront.
Still, on its own, it isn’t a very memorable song, other than its role as an overwhelming moment for Lestat as he stewed over Gabriella’s abandonment.
Technically, this isn’t a song by The Vampire Lestat. It’s listed as performed by “Fates Entourage,” and Daniel Hart provided the vocals.
While I love the classic rock-and-roll feel of this song, I didn’t really love the lyrics as much.
I get that they’re meant to be playful and hilariously confessional (“I am a vampire / I am immortal / And I could be your maker tonight”), but the song just didn’t resonate with me as well as some of the other satirical songs from the show.
17. Dancing with Myself
Lestat’s cover of Dancing With Myself is such a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment. But I don’t actually mind that it’s playing in the background of Louis and Gabriella’s conversation.
The cover itself isn’t terrible, but it definitely isn’t a strong entry into Lestat’s discography compared to some of his other original songs.
The best covers are the ones that put an original spin on a familiar song.
It definitely feels like Lestat’s chaotic energy was directly injected into the squealing guitars and commanding drums. Unfortunately, the new take on the classic Billy Idol song didn’t win me over.
At least I can tell that Sam Reid and Daniel Hart definitely had a really fun time putting this rendition together.
16. Long Face
It’s a little blasphemous to rank The Vampire Lestat’s first single so low on the list, but unfortunately, Long Face didn’t click with me.
As Daniel Molloy pointed out, the lyrics “Oh yeah we’re coming, yeah yeah, we’re coming, Oh yeah, I’m coming” aren’t exactly sophisticated.
Maybe that’s the point, but I would like to listen to the song without picturing Lestat’s O-face.
To its credit, Long Face is an iconic song, with the memorable “Ooh, ooh, ooh, Wah-ahh.”
My favorite line is “Here come the gays,” because, of course, Lestat would cherish his queer fanbase.
I also found the sound really fun, especially the steady staccato of the drums during the verses and the vocal harmonies on “Now we’re having fun.”
All in all, Long Face is a decent song, but it never made it into my permanent listening rotation.
15. Big Bad Wolf
Big Bad Wolf has a classic, grainy rock guitar sound, but carries the petulance of Black Licorice and Long Face.
In terms of diss tracks, Lestat has done way better (see “Big Boss”), so Big Wolf doesn’t feel like it earned a very high ranking.
For a song that lasts five minutes, Big Wolf doesn’t actually say anything new, especially since it comes in the season’s latter half during The Vampire Lestat Season 1 Episode 5.
Lestat’s screaming-spoken-world interlude about Louis’ smear campaign reiterates some of the sentiment of “Why Do I Have to Feel?” The repetition of “The night’s for sale” also echoes the message of Plastic Fiends.
Ultimately, Big Bad Wolf doesn’t stand out as a memorable song for me.
14. Butterscotch Bitch
With all the love in the world, Butterscotch Bitch sounds like a song that TikTok cosplayers would lip-sync to in 2020.
I’m fully aware that part of Lestat’s appeal is being a little cringe (I mean, who thinks the lyrics “You’ll never catch the butterscotch bitch” are badass?).
However, much like Black Licorice and Long Face, I wouldn’t necessarily listen to this song outside of its context.
The main redeeming quality of this song is its sound, which is rather interesting, especially in the rhythmic flow of the verses.
Also, the crescendo on the second pre-chorus is a wonderful display of Sam Reid’s vocals. More of that please!
13. La Fontaine De Sang
Perhaps the most haunting performance of this season’s first half is La Fontaine De Sang, which we heard in The Vampire Lestat Season 1 Episode 2.
I got goosebumps watching Lestat sing this while Gabriella zeroes in on him like a hawk.
The lyrics of this melancholy piano ballad come from Charles Baudelaire’s French poem, titled “The Fountain of Blood.”
The poem is beautiful, and it sounds even better backed by piano and Sam Reid’s voice.
It’s undoubtedly a gorgeous song, but there’s also a layer of armor behind Lestat’s delivery that makes me wish we could have gotten a deeper look into his emotions with an original song.
Maybe if I learned French, I could have a deeper appreciation for the lyrics and the song.
12. Why Do I Have to Feel?
Why Do I Have to Feel? proves that The Vampire Lestat can write a mean breakup song.
The lyrics echo the title’s sentiment, as Lestat laments his lost loves with the powerful line, “I can sleep for 100 years, but some wounds never heal.”
Similar to the Long Face’s composition, I really love the backing vocals in this song that help make the sound feel fuller. The slower, waltz-like tempo really suits the song’s messaging, too.
I’m also a huge fan of the little interlude with the vocal and guitar riffs that lead into the most dramatic part of the song: the bridge.
Fans might have their own opinions about Lestat flying onto the balcony and confronting Louis in the middle of the concert, but the bridge fits nicely into the song, offering a quieter moment of confession.
The bridge’s lyrics (“I tried to write you the prettiest song in the world, but I got distracted”) were also a nice nod to the band Man Man, led by Ryan Kattner, who plays Salamander.
Why Do I Have to Feel? has grown on me over time. After all, if I fumbled Louis de Pointe du Lac, I would also write a song about my broken heart.
11. Plastic Fiends
Plastic Fiends is an awesome introduction scene song. Just listening to it, I can already picture the tour bus rolling down the long, stretching American highway.
Considering that Lestat covered a Billy Idol song, I’m not surprised that Plastic Fiends has a 70s and 80s glam rock feel.
Listening to the song, I can hear clear influences from rock icons like Billy Joel and Elton John, especially in the chorus.
Initially, the song didn’t stick in my mind while watching the show, but I think the full song stands very strongly on its own.
In the vein of many Vampire Lestat Songs, Plastic Fiends generously refers to people like Elon Musk and Louis XVI to poke fun, this time about fans and consumers.
I never expected The Vampire Lestat to write a biting thinkpiece on American Capitalism and its pitfalls, but oddly, the term “you filthy little plastic fiends” goes kind of hard.
10. Nothing To Lose
The needle drop for Nothing to Lose after Gabriella’s conversation with Lestat was such a powerful way to end The Vampire Lestat Season 1 Episode 4.
Plus, it’s the perfect song to introduce the studio setting as The Vampire Lestat band enters the recording stage of its new era.
While tunes like Long Face and All Fall Down lean more toward a grungier sound, Nothing to Lose feels like pure rock.
Part of that stems from how clearly you can hear the guitar and drums, both of which engage in a call-and-response with Lestat’s voice.
The lyrics are also more edgy, almost like they’re ripped straight from a teenager’s diary (“I need a ravenous queen / Give me that long, dark death to feed a future machine”).
But there’s something really endearing about knowing these lyrics are likely meant to praise Akasha and to foreshadow a dangerous vampiric event hinted at throughout this entire season.
Even though Nothing to Lose may be a trap, I’m more than happy to go down with the sinking ship while nodding my head along to these catchy guitar riffs.
9. Hit The Lights
I have a soft spot for acoustic guitar songs, so Hit The Lights easily earned a position high up on this list.
Compared to the rock songs from earlier episodes, Hit The Lights is an earnest confessional in which Lestat no longer hides behind the glamor of the stage lights.
The setting of Lestat playing alone in the tour bus on The Vampire Lestat Season 1 Episode 3, intercut with him waking up to find Gabriella missing on the beach, indicates a new vulnerability we haven’t seen in him this season.
The soft strumming of the guitar pairs well with Lestat’s admission of how much he cares for Gabrielle, with lyrics like “Why won’t you let me bring you flowers / Like I used to cheer you up?”
After so many episodes of Lestat defending his mother and her abuse, he finally admits how much her callousness has hurt him.
The context makes the song less romantic and more heartbreaking, peeling back the layers of his deep-rooted trauma.
8. When I Call Out Your Name
Honestly, I would rank When I Call Out Your Name on the same level as Hit the Lights if I could.
Both songs carry a similar sentiment in terms of Lestat reckoning with how his relationship with Gabriella has resulted in emotional torment and discomfort.
The song’s rage is a tangled amalgamation of Lestat’s self-discomfort, wrapped up in his romance with his mother.
He even pokes fun at his own stutter, singing “Ga-Ga-Ga” throughout the song until the very climax, when he spits out Gabriella’s full name.
Incorporating Lestat’s stutter into the lyrics was a genius decision for establishing a strong link between the narrative and the music.
I also appreciate how the music slowly builds toward the aforementioned climax, so that when Lestat begins screaming “Gabriella,” he’s backed by wailing guitars and pounding drums, heightening the effect of heartbreak.
There is also incredible visual storytelling in the lyrics (“Rapunzel with the scarlet ribbon / Hunters of the savage garden / Splendid devils and a sea of jewels”) that deserves a shoutout.
7. Your Biggest Fan
Your Biggest Fan is a banger that unexpectedly climbed up the rankings for me the more I listened to it.
When I first watched the sequence in which Lestat imagines Magnus singing this love song to him, I was torn between laughing at the cheesy music video and crying at Lestat’s inability to confront how traumatizing his turning was.
My favorite kind of songs are those that create dissonance between the sound and the lyrics, and Your Biggest Fan fits the bill.
The acoustic guitar and soft violins in the background make the song sound like the perfect rom-com soundtrack.
While the lyrics also sound romantic, one look beneath the surface reveals how sinister Magnus’ intentions really are.
“Yeah, that’s me at your window, babe,” and “That’s me watching as you sleep at night” sound a lot less like Romeo and Juliet and more like stalking when we see the truth of what really happened.
The most messed-up part of the song is the chorus: “I wanna give you everything I got / I know you’re stubborn, but you have to ask for it.”
These lyrics point to Lestat’s warped ideas of consent and how he’s so traumatized that he refuses to confront how Magnus assaulted him.
Daniel Hart didn’t hold back when writing Your Biggest Fan. That sequence will haunt me until the end of time.
6. Cabbage
Cabbage feels like a spiritual successor to All Fall Down in terms of its playfulness.
The title is an allusion to the inside joke shared between Lestat and Gabriella, but the song is an amalgamation of themes explored across the songs.
It covers Lestat’s fear of being unlovable (“Be broken, unlovable / This ain’t no cry for help”) and his desire to fulfill the Great Conversion (“She says we kill the planet / Rebuild it in our image”).
The repetition of “I’ll be fine” and “Get in line” is simple yet effective as an earworm, emphasizing Lestat’s desire to cope with his insecurities.
Cabbage showcases Lestat’s unabashed diva tendencies (“When the curtain drops, be baggage / This ain’t no goddamn crime of passion”).
The fluctuation in sound, such as the instruments dropping right before Lestat’s chorus and then all coming back into a crescendo at the end, complements the song’s dramatic atmosphere.
Of course, Cabbage also earns a high spot on the list for containing the lyric that became the name for Lestat’s fanbase: “This is a song for all the beautiful unwell.”
5. Big Boss
As a certified Armand fan, I was predisposed to love Big Boss, even if it’s meant to be a diss track.
Lestat’s performance sells the song. Wearing Claudia-like braids and makeup to mock Armand in front of all his fans was the epitome of revenge.
The oversimplification of the Five Great Laws made me cackle so hard. How can anyone listen to the lyrics “Three, don’t you dare write down my history?” with a straight face?
Even though it’s still a rock song, it’s notably more upbeat and probably the closest to pure pop that a Vampire Lestat song can get to.
This show can get really dark, and I greatly appreciate how Big Boss provides much-needed levity while showing us Lestat’s true feelings about Armand.
From the moment I first heard it, I knew Big Boss would be an earworm I couldn’t escape for months — and I don’t mind that at all.
4. All Fall Down
I’m such a sucker for an unforgettably catchy theme song, and All Fall Down is the perfect anthem for the show.
No matter how many times I rewatch The Vampire Lestat, I never skip the song.
All Fall Down has a special place in my heart because it’s the first song I heard from The Vampire Lestat that made me go, “Oh, I get it now.”
Admittedly, the lyrics are simple, but they succinctly foreshadow this season’s events. Plus, something about Sam Reid‘s delivery of the lyrics, “I’m a lost love,” scratches a specific itch in my brain.
Even though the “Bang, bangs” are repetitive, the outro is a catchy call-and-response backed by the melodic guitar.
It’s relatively rare to find a TV show with a memorable title sequence now, and I’m so glad that The Vampire Lestat brought back the art of an unskippable rock theme song.
3. The Loneliness
Sometimes, the best songs are the ones that say the truth as it is.
The Loneliness begins with Lestat’s typical humor, making quips about how loneliness is like “a vampire,” but as the song continues, it becomes evident that Lestat is finally baring his soul for the audience.
The pre-chorus (“How could anybody ever love you?”) and the gradual crescendo with the repeated “And you stay” in the second verse tug at my heartstrings every time I hear it.
Additionally, the slow tempo and hesitant drumbeat and guitar in the backing help create the creeping feeling of loneliness detailed in the song.
There’s so much to love about The Loneliness, but my favorite line has to be “Don’t worship that grave / Dug on your own.”
The raw honesty of Lestat admitting he has prevented himself from reckoning with his trauma suggests that he’s finally engaging in self-reflection.
In the words of Daniel Molloy: “Vampire loneliness, I get it now.”
2. Stained Glass Eyes
I wish the stripped-down, piano-only version of Stained Glass Eyes had been released.
The official version is great, but the only reason I’m ranking the song so highly is watching the scene of Lestat at the piano, breaking down how he truly feels about Claudia.
One of the most compelling dynamics in The Vampire Lestat has been the exploration of Lestat’s relationship with Claudia, since we’ve previously mostly heard about it from Louis’ perspective.
The lyrics of Stained Glass Eyes allude to Claudia’s resentment towards Lestat for his role in the trial and Lestat’s regret.
“No one ever gets to keep my smile / But you can peel it off me like one of your souvenirs,” and “Don’t you try to forget all the things you regret.”
My favorite part of the song is the bridge. The vocal harmonies (shoutout TC!) on “I’m gonna haunt you / Haunt you until your dyin’ days” struck a nerve that I didn’t know existed.
The symphony of strings backing Sam Reid’s unbelievable vocals is sure to bring anyone to tears, even anyone who hasn’t watched the series.
Stained Glass Eyes has instantly earned a spot on my playlist of songs I listen to while lying on the floor for a good cry. Thanks a lot, Lestat.
1. Brutal Love
From the moment I heard Bitter Star, I knew it would be my favorite song.
I’m not even the biggest Loustat warrior out there, but Brutal Love sold me on Lestat’s love for Louis, no matter how messed up it might be at times.
No matter how many times I watch the Brutal Love sequence, the song playing over Lestat performing it for Louis, like he’s the only person in the room, makes me tear up every time.
I have said this many times, and I’ll say it again: Sam Reid’s vocals are insane. The backing strings that provide the swelling sensation behind Lestat’s singing were a genius choice.
Brutal Love marks a marked departure from Lestat’s earlier songs in the series, which rely on biting satire.
Given how difficult it is for Lestat to be honest, the fact that he can wear his heart on his sleeve in this song truly proves he thinks the world of Louis.
Even outside the show, Brutal Love is such an incredible love song, full of romantic metaphors (“I am the meteor, gliding / Writing your name in dust as I fall”).
It might be cheesy, but you can tell Lestat put his soul into the song, and I eat it up every time I listen.
That concludes our rankings for every song featured on The Vampire Lestat!
What have been your favorite songs of the season so far on this AMC hit?
Leave your thoughts on The Vampire Lestat’s music in the comments below!
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