Tragedy strikes this friendship group yet again.
In both the best and worst ways, A Million Little Things Season 5 Episode 12 was very much like the series at its prime in the early seasons, a mixture of highs, lows, tears, laughs, and all the inevitable ups and downs of life.
In this melancholic hour, we learn that Gary is dying — it was a minor miracle he even made it out of this hour still alive — and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
Continuing with the theme of coming full circle in the most predictable, textbook manner, we started this series with the tragic death of this friendship group’s very heart and center.
And now, we’ll end the series the same way, after Gary’s series-long arc of growing into the best version of himself, the man Jon always knew he was capable of being.
Gary has been the glue of this family since Jon’s death, and we’ve seen him showcase and prove that repeatedly.
In the most rudimentary of ways, after he’s made all these strides, fulfilled the journey, and found love, happiness, and all the things that make life meaningful, full, and worth it, his will get cut short.
Sophie: I want to be here for as much as I can.
Gary: You and me both.
And the cycle will undoubtedly continue of this group trying to pick up the pieces after a tragic loss.
Interestingly, by this installment, heading into the series finale, not only has Gary essentially walked the path, picked up the pieces, and become his rendition of the Jon of the group, but Eddie has picked up the mantle and become the Gary.
Jon poured into Gary, seeing the very best in him and encouraging him to be the best version of himself, and we saw the fruits of that labor, that love, and that friendship throughout the series as Gary carried with him everything that Jon did.
But we also saw Gary’s subconscious way of paying it forward with how he poured into Eddie throughout the series. And he’s been there to lift Eddie up, sometimes literally encouraging and pushing him to be his best version.
And it’s worked. The only other character who has had the most consistent, substantial arc belying their growth from A Million Little Things Season 1 Episode 1 until now is Gary himself.
And so, it’s a nod to that full circle theme the series is angling for here as Gary’s time is ending.
In the lives of this found family that he’s helped maintain for all these years, Eddie has quietly emerged as the new person who will most likely keep everything together in some capacity when Gary’s gone.
We saw that with his support of Gary throughout all of this, being the first to notice that things were off and on the decline for Gary, and this choice of moving to a condo literally down the hall from Maggie.
He’ll be there, well, he and Delilah both, but nevermind that, to support a grieving Maggie through the loss of her now husband and the father of her child in the same vain that Gary stepped up to do it for Delilah and the Dixons.
At the very least, one can see the angle and respect how committed they are to follow through, much like this Delilah and Eddie nonsense.
And a series that started with the tragic death of a character and has explored some of the heaviest, darkest moments of life would predictably carry that right through to the end.
It’s been the mark of A Million Little Things in a similar way as it was for This Is Us.
And it’s real, raw, and the way life is, and this series has always been, for better and for worst, about life and the million little things that make up a good one.
Objectively, I can appreciate that for what it is. But from an emotional standpoint, real life is bleak enough that sometimes as viewers, we deserve to see happiness and hope.
Dr. Jessica: Somebody told me once that every life has a length and a width, and it’s not to sacrifice the width in service of the length.
Gary: So you’re saying, on top of everything I’m dealing with now, size matters? Come on.
Hell, we deserve to see something that we couldn’t have predicted a million miles away; there was a time when there were so many mysteries we never knew what was coming next.
From a selfish and purely emotional standpoint, I would’ve much preferred a happier ending or at least one that isn’t so formulaic, uninspired, and marred by the impending death of a beloved character to a horrific disease.
The hour got progressively bleak as it went on, slowly squeezing all the emotions out of the viewer, utterly soul-draining by the end.
It was more triggering than anticipated and designed to have some of us seeking out whatever vices bring us the most comfort. I need a drink, and I don’t really drink, so take from that what you must.
Make no mistake, the performances were spectacular, and the writing was stronger than it’s been for most of the season, betraying that they’ve been eagerly biding time to get to this grand finale. I imagine this was circled three times on a whiteboard, and the pace and pathway to reach this ultimate goal were directionless until we got here.
In that way that has been common in what has become an era of trauma porn, every last scene of this installment was challenging to watch, and one couldn’t help but feel like a slowly deflating balloon as hope and happiness slipped away and the reality sunk in.
Nothing about this direction is surprising in the least. Most people have predicted Gary’s death as the end cap of the series since the very beginning.
In that sense, we’re getting exactly what we would’ve expected playing out before our eyes in a devastating fashion.
We only have the series finale remaining, and there’s a chance that anything could happen, but it’s doubtful it’ll be much to surprise us, and we can anticipate Gary’s death and a time jump.
It would be a genuine shock if they pulled off a less depressing twist. I’m not sure I can bring myself to hope for something I know is not going to happen, and I’m angry at how morose this will get.
The hour did well, focusing nearly exclusively on Gary as his health rapidly declined. It seemed only a few months passed in the duration of the hour, but from the moment we found out his cancer spread to his other lung, we went careening down a melancholic path of watching him waste away in front of us.
Javi’s first birthday was particularly upsetting. We barely got to enjoy the stage of Gary shaving his head and still donning the beard before we got the version of Gary completely ravaged by chemotherapy, disappearing in front of our eyes.
One of the lasting conclusions of this series will be that it’s been some of James Roday Rodriguez’s finest work. He’s such a fantastic actor, pulling off dramatic and comedic roles, and this man has deserved his flowers over the years for his role as Gary.
Even as I went through all the stages of grief myself, I couldn’t stop marveling at his commendable performance, and I very much look forward to whatever he tackles after this.
Maggie: Mendez, I dare you to go to Mexico. I dare you to fight this.
Gary: Okay. Let’s go to Mexico.
We also got some great work from Miller. This season, Maggie has been a mixed bag, tipping towards annoying more than lovable, but she was at her most relatable and endearing during this hour.
She wanted Gary to fight the way he encouraged her to when she was battling cancer again. Miller perfectly portrayed a loved one barely keeping it together, fear, grief, and pain simmering under the surface of a veneer with fissure lines.
The denial hit her so hard when she learned there was nothing else they could do; her frantic, desperate attempts to pull off a Hail Mary were heartbreaking.
And the solemn acceptance that taking Gary away from his family to die without them was most likely the wrong call and selfish.
It exposed the state that everyone is in as they come to grips with losing Gary, though. Unsurprisingly, Eddie (and Delilah) felt guilty about their possible move.
Fortunately, they didn’t move an hour and a half away to ahouse in Springfield. While a four-bedroom home would’ve been ideal for them raising obnoxious Charlie and having rooms to spare for Sophie, Danny, and Theo, I can’t envision them far from a support system for too long.
Eddie wouldn’t want to be that far away from Theo. Sophie and Danny would likely spend more time in Boston themselves. Eddie should still be in school, which would make for a needless commute.
And, of course, everyone they love is still in Boston. I also can’t imagine their financial status, considering Eddie will be just starting a career once he obtains his degree, and Delilah is currently unemployed.
Gary: Hey, do me a favor. Take care of my best friend Rome when I’m gone, okay? He deserves it.
Rome: You take care of my best friend too.
A condo close to Maggie is the best call for a plethora of reasons. I appreciated when Eddie admitted that he would need to attend a meeting because life changes like this could jeopardize his sobriety.
Gary’s moment with Rome was particularly special because he knows that Rome puts on a front for everyone and suffers silently. He wouldn’t want his impending death to be the thing that triggers Rome, and I loved that he reminded him to take care of himself.
Rome throwing his all into Gina’s campaign has been the perfect distraction for him, but I worry for him the most when Gary dies.
Sophie sees the trip to Mexico as a chance to cling to Gary longer and say her goodbyes, reflecting her sentiments after Jon’s death. She isn’t taking Gary for granted; she can at least know that she got to spend time with him and speak her peace while he was still living.
By contrast, it made sense that Danny spent so much time avoiding Gary because he didn’t want to see his best friend, mentor, and favorite uncle in this position. Their relationship is so special; Daniel’s avoidance totally tracked and was the most relatable.
And Gary totally understood it, which made the whole thing more emotional than ever.
It’s truly upsetting to think about the losses of fathers on this show in some capacity or another.
It’s been particularly heavy this season with Rome slowly losing his father to Alzheimer’s, the death of Javier, Jon’s death still lingering, Katherine still reflecting on what losing her father did to her, and now Gary, too.
That’s why sometimes the sadness and gloom can feel so overbearing and overwhelming.
Katherine: If you wanted to be a mom, we should be so lucky to have a kid like you, and if they did have bipolar disorder, you’d be the perfect person to help them with that so that they didn’t have to struggle the way you did.
Greta: Really?
Katherine: If that is something that you wanted, I want that for you too.
It was definitely a heavy hour. Gary’s trademark humor and jokes were inserted into the mix to add levity, but it wasn’t the most effective at detracting from the heaviness of it all.
Like Maggie, it was hard to appreciate the humor even when it’s always been Gary’s most consistent coping and defense mechanism.
Aside from the wedding Gary and Maggie ended the hour with, the only glimmer of happiness in this installment was Katherine saying all the perfect words to Greta about having a child together.
Greta’s ex is the worst, so shaming Greta and causing her to question her decision about kids because of the fear of passing down her bipolar felt on brand with what we’ve known of this woman.
But in Katherine, Greta keeps finding the support she didn’t feel she ever had before, and I wish the season touched on that a bit more, especially when it came to exploring her mental illness.
Nevertheless, we can anticipate another child in the friend group since, now that Greta has Katherine’s support, she displays signs of baby fever full-on.
If they want a baby, it’s what they deserve. It’ll be a hell of a blended family, but that’s what A Million Little Things is all about, right?
I can honestly say I’m not emotionally prepared for the series finale, and even with the predictability of it, Gary’s impending death is 100% upsetting and disappointing, and the bleak direction I’m unhappy about, but this is A Million Little Things.
We don’t need nice; we need change.
Gina
Life isn’t all sunshine and roses, and I didn’t need things to be perfect, but this feels like a punch in the gut. It also takes so much of the rewatchable aspect of this series away as there’s no way on earth, at his point in time, I will be able to sit through this series again, knowing how it’ll end.
A Million Little Things has taken us on an emotional rollercoaster over the years, and we’ve come to expect that. But has it gone too far?
We’ll have to see what the series finale has in store for us, but instead of dreading it because it marks the end of this series, I’m not looking forward to it for another reason now.
Over to you, AMLT Fanatics. Were you prepared for how dark this hour got?
You can remember all the best Gary moments when you watch A Million Little Things online here via TV Fanatic.
Jasmine Blu is a senior staff writer for TV Fanatic. She is an insomniac who spends late nights and early mornings binge-watching way too many shows and binge-drinking way too much tea. Her eclectic taste makes her an unpredictable viewer with an appreciation for complex characters, diverse representation, dynamic duos, compelling stories, and guilty pleasures. You’ll definitely find her obsessively live-tweeting, waxing poetic, and chatting up fellow Fanatics and readers. Follow her on Twitter.