Crises are common occurrences, and while they vary in severity, having an identity crisis is never fun.
Paxton found a gradual solution to his debilitating crisis on Never Have I Ever Season 4 Episode 7 but not without going through some hurdles.
He was finally ready to take that step toward an adult future, which meant leaving his cool past behind.
As mentioned before, crises are common occurrences, whether they are real demonstratable events or struggles people have to deal with while conducting this challenging business called life.
As you go towards identity-based crises, it becomes even more specific, and when intersectional identity crises come up, it becomes a colossal mess.
Paxton was going through a common crisis among young people where people have laid out what they think your future should be, and then they convince you that it is what’s best for you.
The gist used to be you do basic education, join a high school, proceed to an institution of higher education, preferably a prestigious university, graduate with first-class honors, meet someone, get married, have a couple of kids, put them through the same thing, and the cycle continues.
Even writing about it is making my head hurt.
And that used to be the direction most people took because it’s much easier to do what is prescribed for you than follow your heart. You are led to believe that you are set for success if you follow that path.
College is an eye-opening moment for many because it is the first time you are confronted with real choices. Remember something about major and minor decisions in the Never Have I Ever Season 4 Episode 5 review?
It is the first time you are allowed to think for yourself, and as importantly, it is the first time you are challenged intellectually. It’s the first time people think, “Wait, that is not how the world is.” Many people are confused by this realization, and to many, it can be a catalyst for change.
Paxton dealt with this firsthand when his self-image was destroyed within a few days of being at ASU.
Our Never Have I Ever Season 4 Episode 3 review speculated why Paxton quit school, and it was spot on. Poor Paxxy was treated like a loser and couldn’t handle it!
Devi: Well, since we’re trapped here, and apparently experimenting with radical honesty… can I ask what really happened at ASU?
Paxton: The reason I left was because… no one there liked me.
Devi: What? How is that possible?
Paxton: I don’t know. Everyone just decided I was some huge loser, and I was just like, maybe I don’t belong at college. So I left. And now every day I’m like, “What did you do?”
Okay, maybe that was too mean, but it sums up the whole thing. Was it the right decision to quit? Absolutely.
You don’t have to stay at a place that makes you feel like the absolute worst just because you are trying to be strong or you’ve been convinced you are lucky.
Don’t get me wrong, going to college is a privilege and some luck, but the world has a lot of privileges you will never get, and it won’t singly affect you.
It is okay to admit that you can’t hack it and quit.
If you find that your path leads you nowhere, it’s wise to choose another path.
But Paxton was walking on two paths simultaneously. He had one leg in the future and the other in the past, and the more he kept walking on both paths, the differences kept forking the paths farther apart and I don’t have to tell you what happens when you stretch yourself too much, now do I?
On the one hand, it was fun to be a boys’ guy, partying with them as he had done a year ago. It made him feel cool.
On the other hand, more was expected of him as a faculty member. He missed many important team exercises, which made for stronger relationships among colleagues.
It became complicated when he put his career in danger while pursuing a past that had passed.
The decision when his little get-together became too big would be to kick everyone out, but he was still trying to be cool. Lindsey was the shock to his system that he needed to get him to fix himself.
Inspiration can come from anywhere, and who thought Eric would be the person to inspire Paxton? A year ago, Paxton would not come close to Eric.
Paxton: Look, why are you setting a goal that you’re probably gonna fail at?
Eric: It’s okay if I fail as long as I tried. And maybe I don’t fail, and then I’m really proud of myself. What kind of personjust gives up on their dream when they haven’t even tried?
But through Eric, he learned a great lesson about trying to do challenging things and not giving up when things get tough. And even when you give up, you will rest easy knowing you tried. The alternative would be to spend the rest of your life thinking, “What if?”
Paxton: Look, why are you setting a goal that you’re probably gonna fail at?
Eric: It’s okay if I fail as long as I tried. And maybe I don’t fail, and then I’m really proud of myself. What kind of personjust gives up on their dream when they haven’t even tried?
Devi and Paxton got locked in a supply closet, and Devi found a way to drag the truth out of him.
They hadn’t had the time to have an honest conversation, which did them good. It would have been better if the school’s assistant coach didn’t kiss a student, but they had a history about a year old, so that wasn’t too weird.
Devi was another chapter of his cool life. Paxton was ready to close, and Devi was ready to do that too.
Eric’s success in joining the swim team was a sign that he was ready for what was to come.
“… had an identity crisis” felt timely because other perspectives can be lost, especially in a show that focuses on academic excellence and treats most of its not-so-academically talented characters like an afterthought.
He wasn’t quite sure exactly where his path was gonna take him, but he knew he was at least moving forward.
Gigi Hadid
It had a great message that you are on the right track as long as you are improving in one aspect of life. You don’t have to have everything figured out, especially at a young age. You are allowed to make mistakes, as that’s the only way to grow.
Even when there are constant reminders of what life could have been like, periodic emails from the school you went to for five seconds, keep being true to yourself.
If Paxton was good enough to be a cool teenager, he damn well could be a cool adult.
Hit the comments section with your thoughts about this Paxton-centric episode.
Denis Kimathi is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. He has watched more dramas and comedies than he cares to remember. Catch him on social media obsessing over [excellent] past, current, and upcoming shows or going off about the politics of representation on TV. Follow him on Twitter.