Jimmy Kimmel Lists His Top 78 Nicknames for Donald Trump (VIDEO)

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Jimmy Kimmel marked Donald Trump’s 78th birthday in fittingly unceremonious fashion, listing his favorite 78 nicknames for the businessman-turned-politician — who’s running for president again while awaiting sentencing after his conviction on 34 felony counts.

“Trump had a low-key birthday celebration — he reportedly spent the night at home, quietly spanking himself with a magazine,” Kimmel said on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Friday, June 14, riffing on Stormy Daniels’ testimony that she used a magazine to spank Trump.

Then Kimmel got to the nicknames. “You know, I have to admit, Donald Trump has given a lot to our show, and I wanted to do something special for him because I know he watches from time to time,” the late-night comedian said.

“Over the last, seems like, I don’t know, 28 years since he got into politics, we’ve come up with a lot of nicknames for Donald Trump. And so in honor of his birther-day, we combed through the archives to bring you our top 78 Donald Trump nicknames of all-time.”

To the tune of “Hail to the Chief,” Kimmel rattled off the monikers, quoted in full below:

  1. Don Whoreleone
  2. Napoleon Bone-Aspur
  3. R. Smelly
  4. Fiberace
  5. Commander-In-Thief
  6. Nostra-dumbass
  7. El Pork-Choppo
  8. MAGA Theresa
  9. All Caps-tain Kangaroo
  10. Rip One Van Winkle
  11. Count Flatula
  12. Founding Farter
  13. Farty-Five
  14. Teddy Dozevelt
  15. Gaseous Clay
  16. Dopey McGropey
  17. Lepre-con man
  18. Al Ca-porn
  19. Julius Squeezer
  20. The Shart of the Deal
  21. His Flatulency
  22. Mayor McCutTheCheese
  23. Groper Cleveland
  24. Sleepy Don-zales
  25. Nelson Tandela
  26. Burger Jean King
  27. Donny Nappleseed
  28. Liger Woods
  29. Unhappy Gilmore
  30. Greedy McGolfy
  31. Yabba Dabba Doofus
  32. His MAGA-sty
  33. Genghis Don
  34. Donnie D Cups
  35. Donye West
  36. Donald Duck the Draft
  37. Kim Don Un
  38. The Notorious P.I.G.
  39. Hair Mussolini
  40. Con-Mander-In-Chief
  41. Phony Soprano
  42. Fattyshack
  43. The Ayatollah Complaini
  44. Presidementia
  45. Stable McGenius
  46. The Tanchurian candidate
  47. Orange Baby Jesus
  48. Refrigerator Perry Mason
  49. Off-Whitey Bulger
  50. Tannibal Lecter
  51. The Not-So-Great Pumpkin
  52. Carrot Bottom
  53. Scammy Davis Jr.
  54. Rich Little Hands
  55. Donnie Cochran
  56. The MAGA-lorian
  57. Vladimir Gluten
  58. HippoPOTUS
  59. Darth Tax Evader
  60. Our Fondling Father
  61. Maroon 45
  62. The Legend of Bragger Vance
  63. Mar-a-Cloggo
  64. The Tan of La Mancha
  65. Butch Casserole
  66. Trumpelstiltskin
  67. MAGATHA Christie
  68. Grab-Ass Grandpa
  69. Orange Julius Caesar
  70. Hungry Hungry Hypocrite
  71. Dictator Tot
  72. Quid Pro Combover
  73. The Lock-Her-Up-ness Monster
  74. General Lie-senhower
  75. Alexander Scamilton
  76. Yelvis
  77. Jabba The Pizza Hut
  78. Pumpkin McPornhumper

“Happy birthday, Mr. Former President! Happy birthday to you!” Kimmel added as he caught his breath and the in-studio audience cheered. “Maybe we do have Trump Derangement Syndrome.”

Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Weeknights, 11:35/10:35c, ABC

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